Saturday, February 19, 2011

"How the heck am I going to handle TWO of them???"

Hubby made the observation the other day that so many in my extended group of friends are currently in the Kid #2 stage - either planning to have the 2nd kid, pregnant with the 2nd kid, or just had the 2nd kid.

The thought of the 2nd kid makes a lot of parents nervous. I remember the panic setting in during my second pregnancy: How the heck am I going to handle TWO of them? It's a big change to go from one kid to two!! I think the anxiety level is also inversely proportional to the age difference between the two kids. My girls are 22 months apart, so I had "Two Under Two" for a short while and that in itself was a little nerve-wracking!

"How the heck am I going to handle TWO of them?". A wise woman once said (yes, you, Mom) "Where there's a will there's a way" and it is so true. You just figure it out. Must be mommy instinct, because I could do it even on days when I was so sleep-deprived I was delirious.

Now that I've experienced the life of a mom of two for a while I can verify that it definitely does feel like 1 + 1 is much more than 2 (!!)... But I've managed to do this mommy thing (pretty well, I think), AND keep my sanity too.

A friend recently asked for my two cents on preparing for baby #2, so I'm sharing some of my (somewhat haphazard) thoughts with all of you...

I just went back to work 3 weeks ago, but I was home by myself for 8 months with my two kids and could not have lived without my Ergo baby carrier or my double stroller. Both enabled me to get out of the house... which I needed to do for my sanity. Yes, it takes forever to get in and out of the car, but I tried to take one trip out of the house every day. I learned how to plan my errands strategically to avoid multiple trips in and out of the car.

Kid #2 wanted to be carried all.the.time, yet I needed my hands free to play with Kid #1. A good baby carrier was a necessity for me. I had a Baby Bjorn carrier, but it was awful on my back and almost crippled me after a 30 minute trip into Target. I used a Moby Wrap too, which was great for the newborn stage, but way too hot for sticky summer days. The Ergo baby carrier is my favorite and I still use it quite a bit! It does an amazing job of distributing the baby's weight so it doesn't kill your back. (Sidenote for anyone thinking about buying an Ergo- you'll need an infant insert to use it with small infants until they can wrap their legs around your waist comfortably.)

Something I thought about before Kid #2 arrived was whether we'd need to buy anymore baby stuff. Much of our baby gear could be handed down from Kid #1. I wondered what we'd need TWO of??? We ended up buying a second crib (Kid #1's crib is now her toddler bed so we couldn't use it for the younger one), a second changing pad and diaper pail (originally thought I could use the one we had, but Kid #1 is still in diapers at 2 1/2 and resisting potty training at the moment so we definitely use both changing pads), a second baby monitor, a second white noise machine, and a second shopping cart cover.

I also had a short list of things that I wanted to have for the new baby: a temporal scan thermometer (the forehead kind) and a bigger diaper bag (I love my Skip Hop Duo Double Deluxe! It fits everything!!)

One of my biggest worries after Kid #2 arrived, was how would I occupy Kid #1 while I was stuck in my glider chair nursing newborn Kid #2? Luckily, Kid #1 was very good at playing independently when her sister was born. I have one of my two gliders right in the playroom, so I had "special" toys that I could take down from the shelf for her to play with while I was nearby nursing the baby. I'd also read her books, occupy her with stickers, and allowed her one tv show a day to coincide with a nursing session.

So, that's my two cents. Hoping that hearing my experience might be helpful to others in the "Kid #2 stage"!!! I should also say God Bless to those mommas of 3 and more, because I don't know how you do it!
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